I’m sorry this week’s post is so late! I’ve been really tired this week and didn’t have the energy after work to finish this post.
Last week, my husband and I attended a breastfeeding class at the hospital where I’ll deliver. Since becoming pregnant (and even before then) breastfeeding was very important to me (and still is). I have read all of the studies about the benefits of breast milk for babies and more than anything, I hope and pray I’m able to provide our little one with breast milk.
I have to admit I was really disappointed with the class—not because the information wasn’t good—but because I felt the overarching message of the class came from a place of judgement and instilling fear. There was a lot of “formula is evil” type talk, which I don’t think is fair. We were all there to learn about breastfeeding, so obviously we want to breastfeed—but of all of the women in the class—how many will actually go on to breastfeed exclusively for 6 months, as recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics? I don’t have that answer…but the class left me feeling defeated because it was so “this is the only way and any other way should absolutely be avoided at all costs.” I think it causes moms to feel unnecessary stress and guilt if they don’t or can’t breastfeed for the recommended amount of time. Maybe that was just the one instructor though, who knows.
During the class, I had asked about the lactation consultant’s personal experiences working with mothers who had undergone a breast augmentation and wanted to breastfeed. Her feedback was mostly encouraging—she said most women with implants were able to breastfeed—especially if the surgery was more than 2 years ago, the implant was placed under the muscle and the incision was NOT made around the aereola. Check, check, check (for me). I know several women who have successfully breastfed with implants so I wasn’t overly concerned about the surgery affecting my ability to breastfeed, but it was nice to hear some positive feedback from the lactation consultant too.
What took me by surprise was when the instructor pulled me aside after class. She gave me her card and recommended I come see one of the lactation consultants immediately after the birth of the baby because I would probably need to start pumping in addition to trying to breastfeed to build my supply. I appreciated that advice because I want to get off to the best start…but once we started getting more into my history I started to feel absolutely and totally defeated (and this may admittedly be impacted by the fact that I’m more emotional lately).
The lactation consultant had asked me about my breasts prior to surgery and I told her that they never changed/developed during puberty (which is why I got the implants) and that my plastic surgeon had told me that I was one of the most under-developed patients he’d ever operated on. I don’t know why it never occurred to me that a lack of ample tissue could present a problem when it came to breastfeeding—I guess you don’t think about that when you’re in your early 20’s. The instructor also asked me if my breasts changed during pregnancy and they haven’t grown in size, but I have seen some other changes in them, which she did say could be a positive sign.
Of course I started to Google as soon as I got home and came upon some websites that confirmed my fears…there’s a chance I’m one of the very rare women who may have Insufficient Glandular Tissue (one of the signs of this is breasts that did not change during puberty and pregnancy—there are other signs too but these are the main ones that apply to me). Basically, I may be able to produce some breast milk—but never enough to exclusively feed my baby with it. Now—I’m not saying this is my destiny—I could very well have no issues whatsoever…but reading about this condition certainly made me face the the fact that I may not be able to provide what I wish I could for my baby and that I’ll be one of the moms that people like the instructor of that class will probably judge for “caving” to formula feeding. At the end of the day, I have to feed my baby and I will do whatever she needs to grow and be healthy.
I know so many women who struggled with breastfeeding—some made it through those first six tough weeks or so and went on to breastfeed really successfully, some supplemented with formula and some stopped all together for various reasons. It just seems like the class was taught in a way that doesn’t really address the tough parts about breastfeeding or the challenges a woman can face. Even all of the moms featured in the breastfeeding video shown in class had breasts and nipples of almost the exact same shape and size. I wish they had shown more of a variety, it would have felt more encouraging.
I suppose up until now I had been living in ignorant bliss about breastfeeding. I was so determined that I would do whatever it takes to make it work, that I didn’t even think about the possibility that I could actually be limited by my own natural anatomy. I’ve had some time to process this and my husband has been really supportive when I’ve gotten down about it. We will cross that bridge when we get there and not worry about it now. Thanks for letting me vent a little about this…
How far along? 36 weeks (I do these a week behind as a recap of the previous week, so I’m actually 37 weeks and 2 days today).
Total weight gain/loss: I’ve gained about 27 pounds now. Just as I predicted, I packed it all on at the very end.
Maternity clothes? I’m still living in my GAP maternity skinnies and long tanks and tunics. Flats are my new best friend. Maxi dresses are the best invention in life.
Stretch marks? Still none, but I am predicting I will get some around my belly button because of the stupid piercing holes being stretched out so much. Right now I’m mostly using Belli’s Elasticity Belly Oil and Mustela double-action stretch mark cream in rotation. I’m over the Mamma Mio Tummy Rub a little.
Symptoms: They’ve really piled on this week. My fingers are swollen and my feet and ankles feel swollen. My OB told me that they’re not that swollen but I can tell by how my shoes fit (i.e. one pair doesn’t even fit anymore). I am also experiencing occasional Braxton Hicks contractions, lower back pain, cramping that radiates to my thighs (occasionally) and just general, overall discomfort.
Sleep: It’s so-so. Some nights I can sleep really well (even with getting up to pee a few times) and other nights I’m surfing Instagram and reading celebrity gossip at 3 or 4 in the morning just to try to get back to sleep again. Thank God for iPhones.
Best moment this week: Celebrating our wedding anniversary, FINDING OUT BABY IS HEAD DOWN (YAY!) It’s nice to know I will at least have a chance at having a vaginal delivery.
Have you told family and friends: Yes!
Miss Anything? Being comfortable
Movement: Things are getting tight up in there. She definitely has cycles of sleep and wakefulness. I thank God for my weekly NST’s because I swear they’re all that keeps me sane during these last few weeks.
Food cravings: Cereal with milk, Subway sandwiches, sweets in general
Anything making you queasy or sick: Yes—eating! I can only eat smaller meals now, but constantly. I used to eat every 2-3 hours and now I feel like I eat all the time but smaller amounts. Every time I eat a massive meal I feel like I’m going to topple over and I feel really nauseous. There’s just no more room in there for me to eat larger meals.
Have you started to show yet: My belly feels huge these days. People ask when I’m due.
Baby is a: Girl!
Belly Button in or out? Out
Wedding rings on or off? I still wear my e-ring with a faux wedding band. My wedding band is too tight right now. I can still get it on, but don’t want to risk not getting it off again.
Happy or Moody most of the time: A little bit of everything all rolled into one. I feel happy and excited but also tired and burned out.
Looking forward to: These days, I just look forward to NST’s and OB appointments. I like to know everything is okay with the baby.
Thank you for reading and for all of my pregnant readers, please feel free to check in below as well and let me know how your pregnancy is going 🙂 I also welcome everyone’s advice and comments about pregnancy!
chic Saturday by Kelly says
So happy for you, Veronika! It sounds like you are due anyway now so, the hard part of the journey is nearly over and the beautiful part begins. You will make a wonderful mother I'm sure. Your focus and attention to her needs already show that. Oh and I'd be remiss in not saying that your wedding photo is simply beautiful. Happy Mother's Day!
xo,
Kelly from chic Saturday
Whitney Harness says
So excited for you that she has turned head down! I just wanted to let you know that I'll be praying for peace for you in regards to the breastfeeding issue – there's no way for you to control it unfortunately so you just have to give it up and try not to worry. You're going to be such an amazing mama!
Whitney
Life Alaskan Style
Anastasia says
I know how you feel about breastfeeding and I know how much pressure there is to breastfeed. While it's great if you can, I think people go overboard judging others – it's none of their business! I am breastfeeding my baby but if you try and you can't, then you do what's best for the baby and you. It's a personal issue and the best thing you can do here is relax about it and forget what others think! Wish you the best of luck!
meli1077 says
Like you, I wanted to breastfeed badly. I took the class at our local hospital and did a lot of reading. My experience in class was similar to yours. I left the class feeling like the message was that formula was evil. If you didn't breastfeed there is obviously something wrong with you. Not a good thing for anxious pregnant ladies.
When my son was born, it unfortunately did not work out for me. I have very small breasts and had prior surgeries that may have damage my mammary glands. I didn't produce a drop of milk. Unlike the LC's in class, the LC on the maternity floor was very sympathetic and helpful. I pumped every two hours for days and couldn't get anything out. The LC's, the nurses and my OB all told me not to feel bad about not being able to breastfeed. He was fine with formula and growing as he should.
My point is go in with outlook that if you can breastfeed that's great. If you cannot, that's okay too. It doesn't make you any less of a mother. Don't allow anyone make you feel differently. As long as your baby girl is healthy and growing, that is all that matters. Lots of luck! I hope that everything works out.
Jenn says
So close now! You really look fab, but I know those last weeks are rough! Hang in there! And good luck with breastfeeding. I have been exclusively breastfeeding my twin girls for 4.5 months now, but with my boys (twins that are 4 now) I wasn't this successful and had already supplemented by now. You just never know! GL! http://www.twobytwomom.com
cloud says
I'm glad the baby is head down, wonderful news! Your experience made me think of a post you did a long long time ago about Joel Osteen's sermon about battles that you shouldn't fight. I think that breastfeeding is a wonderful experience, but you shouldn't feel bad/discouraged if you're not able to provide that. You're baby girl will be loved and well taken care of regardless. Love you and your family (and happy anniversary!).
Joan says
My incision was around the areola and I've had no problems with bf'ing. Also, my breast sound identical to yours- never developed during puberty and I have a massive supply. So much so that I'm actually pumping to donate milk to a friend who doesn't have enough for her son. And she has massive boobs!
Also, my breasts didn't change at all when I was pregnant- they weren't sore, they didn't get bigger so I was concerned I wouldn't be able to bf as well. And we've had no problems at all (besides the bad latch, but that has nothing to do with my actual breast)! Hope this is a little encouraging for you 🙂
Joan says
Oh also one more random thing- I didn't get a single stretch mark on my stomach during pregnancy but got them right away after Adelaide was born on my boobs! And I can't apply any creams to them now since I'm breastfeeding, so make sure to apply your belly creams to your boobs while you can!
Live Life in Style says
I didn't know you had a breast augmentation. I've always wondered if that would affect breast-feeding, etc.
Emily says
I completely agree with all your thoughts about breastfeeding…the class I took before the birth of my son in January was very similar to your experience. I left feeling very anxious about my own ability to breastfeed and was scared that if I wasn't able to, I would be judged negatively for it. Luckily, I AM able to breastfeed, but I do have to supplement with formula. I was just never able to get my supply up enough to satisfy my son. I had a tough time with this decision, but like you said–at the end of the day, your job is to feed your baby and ensure that they grow and thrive, and if formula is the only way a mother is able to do that, then so be it! My son is now 15 weeks old, and I breastfeed him 5 times a day and supplement with formula. I've been doing that since he was around 6 weeks old or so, and it's been working very well for us. I wish you the best of luck with your own experience and know that you will be a wonderful mother to your little girl, whether you are able to breastfeed or not 🙂
I gained most of my weight towards the end of my pregnancy too–I started off at 111 pounds and ended up gaining 32. Luckily, I've managed to get rid of almost all of it by this point (3.5 months later), but it was tough getting on that scale each week at the end of my pregnancy! My feet and ankles also started swelling once I hit 36 weeks. In fact, one of my feet got so uncomfortable due to the swelling that I could hardly walk on it towards the end of my pregnancy and even for a few weeks after I gave birth. It was horrible!
You look wonderful and I hope these last few weeks fly by for you! You are in the home stretch, and before you know it, your little one will be here!
Cate O says
Writing this comment while nursing my 6 day old baby…I'm naturally an AA cup, but grew to a C cup after my first son was born. (After I stopped nursing him, I went back down to my original size).
Most of all, try not to stress about it. Read "The Case Against Breastfeeding" by Hanna Roisin. It's an interesting critical look at the studies that are the basis of the claims that breastfeeding is so much better than formula feeding.
Your baby will turn out fine, regardless of what happens. I hate the guilt that is placed on mothers to breastfeed too.
[email protected] says
@Joan—I am really glad to hear about your experience—I just remembered you have implants too! I guess I just felt so discouraged because I was worried that it just may not happen for me. I do want to be as diligent as possible and I'll start pumping right away to try to increase my supply more. Thanks for your comment!
[email protected] says
@shalanda— yep! Most people don't know I've had an augmentation because I do not wear clothes that are revealing and I got my implants in a size that are in balance with the rest of my body. Many many women with implants can breastfeed, but I didn't have any tissue before I got them so that is why I was/am worried. But like I said, I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
[email protected] says
@emily–thanks so much for your feedback! I think I am going to email the program director about the breastfeeding classes because it sounds like a lot of women are having the same experience and it isn't right…
So glad you've been able to BF and supplement as well 🙂 it's nice to hear positive stories!
juliefromchicago says
Happy Anniversary, and many more! Although I am far from it, I love your pregnancy posts! Thank you for sharing, the good, the bad, and the issues and concerns that women go through – very honest! 🙂
juliefromchicago.blogspot.com
Elicia says
I would highly recommend you attend a La Leche League meeting, even now, while you are still pregnant. You can get on the website and see when a meeting is in your local area. You will probably find that at the hospital the lactation consultants won't be able to spend a lot of time with you after your baby is born because they have so many other patients. You could also contact an IBCLC in your area now (a lot of them make house calls) so she can help you have a plan of action postpartum. People assume breast feeding is something that either works out or doesn't but the truth is that it takes work, preparation, and perseverance. I breastfed my daughter for 25 months, the first six months exclusively. My son is 11 months old and still nursing, and he even has special needs. You can do this. If you do have insufficient glandular tissue, you will likely still make some milk, and that milk is so very important for your baby's immune system and long term health outcomes.
Rebecca says
That's so interesting to hear. My mother told me that as babies I weened myself at 2 months and my sister did the same at 3 months. So they may try to force something on you but it's not always in the cards 🙂 It looks like this baby has every other need 110% covered by you guys and that's what's important right!
Ana María says
I was flat as a table. I wouldn't fill a A cup. Never got breasts, NEVER. I got implants, under the muscle, incision in the armpit. I breastfed, I had over supply, and didn't have to supplement until my baby was over 6 months old when she started to loose interest on nursing. I would get over 4 oz from one breast when pumping!
I tell you this because I hate nazi lactation consultant who create fear instead of giving support. My lactation consultant told me since the beginning that I wouldn't have issues and she was right. I had the common issues every woman has, pain, baby with lazy latch, etc, but not because of my surgery
Natalie Louise says
Hi Veronika!
I love reading your blog and really felt as though I should write to you about this post. I am a labor and delivery nurse and I have recently been under the same impression from the lactation consultants at our hospital regarding breast feeding. I admire your bravery and optimism and want to encourage you!! I think breastfeeding is wonderful and based upon your posts, I am sure you will be a great mom, nurturer and provide the best for your little one whether it's breast milk or formula! I just wanted to tell you to hang in there! You are almost there! I hope these last few weeks go well and you have a wonderful labor and delivery process! If you have any questions/concerns/expectations/etc. regarding the labor and delivery and would like to ask an L&D nurse, please let me know!
Best of luck to you! Praying for yall!
allourgooddays says
i'm very sorry that the breastfeeding class wasn't very good at all. i suggest instead of dealing with these people to instead contact a La Leche League consultant. The size of your breasts has NO influence on your milk production!! you will be able to breastfeed. all women, unless they has ha bilateral mastectomy produce milk! please ignore what the woman said to you!
Britt @ The Magnolia Pair says
Oh Veronika, I will be thinking and praying for you that you have a successful breast feeding experience. I know that took a lot to share, so thank you for being so open. I had a similar situation where the dr told me that my epidural may not work bc I have spina biffida. I worried my entire pregnancy that I'd have a natural and painful delivery. But, my body beat the odds and I had a great epidural that worked. Be hopeful during this time. I researched a lot and got very down about it. I am lucky it worked this time, but still could have issues for future babies. Just try not to lose hope, I will be thinking and praying for you girl! And so excited you are so close to meeting your sweet girl !!
Bubby's Mummy says
I'm not sure if being as flat as a tack necessarily translates to having insufficient glandular tissue but I am normally barely an A-cup, practically pre-pubescent in the mammary department although I have experienced some breast enlargement during pregnancy. I also thought that I wouldn't be able to breast feed successfully. I had to be pumped when I was in hospital to stimulate milk production and my son had to be supplemented with formula as ordered by the paediatrician and the midwives would question me every time I asked for the formula and I had to explain that it was the doctor's order. Way to go making a first time mum feel awesome, not. By one week after birth oversupply became my main issue. I probably could have breastfed a village of babies which truly surprised me. I ended up breast feeding my son until 14 months which was well beyond my expectations, I only stopped because it was too difficult to manage around work.
The whole attitude towards breastfeeding and against bottle feeding is very similar here in Australia. A lot of the mums I know who weren't able to establish breastfeeding or just weren't producing enough milk (and all of them have average sized breasts and were definitely not flat chested) suffered a lot of grief and persisted with BF-ing for so long that it game them a lot anxiety. One mum wisely said that it was more important for her to have a good relationship with her daughter than it was to have a good relationship with breastfeeding as she saw her inability to BF as a failure and it was affecting her ability to be happy with her newborn.
I hope you are able to BF but if not it isn't the end of the world and it will not diminish your ability to bond with your daughter and she will still be getting all the nutrients she needs from formula milk.
Diana says
The hospital I delivered my son at is really into breastfeeding and they also give the impression of "formula is evil and if you're not exclusively breastfeeding you are doing wrong by your child and are a horrible mother." I had no intention of ever nursing, but was going to give pumping a try. With the exception of the NICU nurses that I had contact with while my son was in the hospital after birth, every nurse and doctor I encountered tried shoving the breastfeeding spiel down my throat. I tried pumping while I was in the hospital, and absolutely HATED it. It just wasn't for me, and that disdain for it was probably just backed by the fact that I could barely get anything when I did try. I can only assume that my milk never came in – my breasts were never engorged following birth. Like you, I have implants that are under the muscle, but I'm not sold on the idea that that's to blame for the lack of milk production.
Anyway, all this to say that PLEASE do not feel defeated or down on yourself if you end up not being able to breastfeed. Some women medically are unable to, or it just ends up being that it isn't for them, and they shouldn't be shamed because of that. As long as your baby is being fed and is thriving, it shouldn't matter how they are getting their nutrition.
Swissy says
Hello there. I just wanted to tell you that please do not beat yourself up about the whole breastfeeding thing. Of course it would be the best for your baby but if maybe it wouldn't work out, it's ok. Formula is "almost" as good and your baby girl will get what she needs.
I gave birth to my baby boy last August and I still breastfeed him but only at nights. I'm glad and thankful that it worked but it would have been ok if it didn't. A friend of mine had a breast reduction and she was not able to breastfeed. First she was so depressed about it but then she saw that her little man was happy with formula and he was growing and perfectly healthy. So she's completely fine with it.
I wish you loads of luck with your further pregnancy and with giving birth. I hope your girl will arrive safe and sound. You'll see, this will be the most beautiful gift that you've ever received!
And hey, just take it as it comes. There will be lots of surprises.
Big hello from Switzerland
Rachel says
Happy anniversary!
You look fabulous! I hope breastfeeding works out for you, it's a great thing that you care so much about it and you want to provide that for your baby! I'm so thankful that breastfeeding worked out for us, but we had a very rough start in the beginning and I can relate to your feelings even now as you think about how it might be for you.
I'm sure you have a great support system, but if you ever need an extra cheerleader on your team, or someone to vent to, please don't hesitate to shoot me and email! I've learned that it's so important to have the support and understanding of other moms who have been there:) XO
([email protected])
Mandy Brown says
Breastfeeding is such a sensitive topic for moms and I wish it wasn't so. The 'formula is evil' crowd have clearly never had BFing issues and it's extremely hurtful to have someone pass judgement on what you're feeding your baby. I BF my baby girl til she was 4 months; not by choice but because my supply tanked for health reasons and I tried every single thing under the sun to bring it back and it just wouldn't. I spent weeks feeling like an absolute failure as a mom that I could not provide the liquid gold for her and had to give her formula that I had in all honestly looked down upon before having her.
Do the best you can and no matter what you feed your baby girl, you are still providing her the absolute best that you can and loving her mightily 🙂
Bailey says
Breast feeding is hard- it is not as easy as some might make it look! I was forced to use nipple shields for about 3 months exclusively before we were able to breast feed without them but that goodness for the shield because otherwise I might have had to pump exclusively or formula feed. Overall I was able to breast feed without any formula for 9 and 1/2 months!
Just remember to do what is best for your baby and you and no matter what you decide it will be the right choice.
You can read more about my breastfeeding experience here:
https://ticestidbits.blogspot.com/2013/04/my-experience-breastfeeding.html
Laura says
I planned on breastfeeding, I never even considered formula. When we were in the hospital I saw the LC a number of times but things just were not clicking all that well. Within a few days of being at home I started to supplement with formula along with also breastfeeding. I was really getting discouraged and was in shock that we were doing formula, I seriously never thought I would be doing that. With some really stubborn friends who breastfeed and supported me I kept at it and then around 3 weeks old things just clicked for both of us and I have been EBF her for almost 9 months now. I can't tell you how glad I am that I kept trying. I had to start using some fenugreek supplements to help my supply to jump up but I have no regrets at all. Formula isn't bad, but make sure that you get all the help and support you can if breastfeeding is important to you. I was really close to giving up and one little change and we got on track. Good luck!
Renata Barbosa says
I stumbled upon your blog and I must say, you make a very beautiful pregnant woman. And, though I am not a momma yet, I know how you feel about the whole breastfeeding vs. formula thing. It seems as though there are some individuals with adamant opinions on what is right and wrong. However, I think what is most important is that you do what you and your husband feel is best for your family. If you know you are doing the best you can, well, that is all that matters. Sometimes I read posts about women bashing other women for not breast feeding and it saddens me. Women should empower and inspire other women, no matter what decision they make. Being a mother is hard enough as it is, you shouldn't have other women making it more difficult. Good luck with everything, I am sure that it will all work out for the best. Happy anniversary!
xx
Suz says
Hi! I don't think I've ever commented before but wanted to chime in about the implants/BFing issue. I had augmentation 5 or 6 years before giving birth in 2011 – under the muscle, incision in the armpits, very small before the implants. I never had a problem breastfeeding (aside from the typical issues with getting acclimated). In fact, I developed mastitis twice because I had such an oversupply in the beginning. I exclusively breastfed my daughter for 8 months and then supplemented with formula until she was a year (I did eventually have supply problems but am fairly certain it was due to working full-time and having to pump). In short, don't stress before you're in the game, it may well go great for you! Good luck!
Maria says
Hi Veronika!
I just wanted to tell you how touching your post is today; it's so refreshing to read something about breastfeeding that is honest and nonjudgmental of others! I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers that everything goes well for you these next few weeks!
~ Maria ~
Tailored Seams says
You looked gorgeous on your wedding day! Congratulations!
-Kayla
Tailored Seams
Haute Mommy says
Hey! You know you can contact me if you ever need encouragement. Sounds like you and I had similar pre-surgery breasts. My aunt is (was) a lactation consultant so she helped me out. I just needed to start pumping right after having Georgia to build my supply. I didn't pump before having her…it just didn't feel right to me. For the first 6 weeks or so I exclusively breastfed. After that she got one bottle of formula a day because my supply wasn't keeping up, and she got that formula until she was a year old. Occasionally if I was having an off day (not able to eat as much or hydrate like I should) I'd have to give her more formula. Don't worry about it all yet until you have to!!
catiaspi says
i think that lactation consultants have taken such an aggressive approach with nursing because so many women don't even try it. at the hospital you get packages from enfamil and the rest of them. plus doctors/nurses see tiny babies in the emergency room and realize that it could be prevented. they are coming from a different place. just take away this-i will work at it if i can. if i cannot nurse, i am NOT a failure. also you can buy breast milk. rent the pump instead of buying your own. insurance will cover it. you can use formula. your baby will grow up regardless. i got a different perspective after breastfeeding. it is work.
as for your breast not changing. mine did not change at all during pregnancy. they swelled up after birth and i sprayed the lactation consultant in the face. tmi
THE MARTINS says
I breastfed both of my girls until they were 18 months and both experiences were completely different. My oldest was a month early and had problems latching on and would tire out after only 30 seconds of nursing. The first few weeks I had to wake her every 2 hours to nurse and it took a hour to nurse…not much sleep! Between 3-4 weeks things clicked and we didn't have any further issues. During this period I spent a lot of time working on increasing my milk supply and stockpiling milk for her when returned to work. When I returned to work she breastfed/bottles of my pumped milk and took formula. My youngest was a week early latched on right after delivery and refused to take a bottle. Both of my girls are healthy and happy. Try to relax and not stress when you are breastfeeding. Remember this is a beautiful bonding experience and even a small amount of breast milk is great for your baby.
Don't stress about breastfeeding the most important thing your baby needs is your love and I know that will not be a problem : )
Culinary Hill says
Veronika, nice to meet you! YouTube randomly suggested one of your videos to me and then I searched for your blog, saw your post, and wanted to say hi! I had so many ideas of how I thought/wanted my birth/breast-feeding/baby-raising to go (my baby just turned 1 last month) and it's funny how life always has other plans. It's always an adventure and I wish you a wonderful journey. Obviously formula is just fine for babies if that's the route you end up taking. A healthy baby is the most important thing! There is a lot of support out there if you need it. Thinking of you at this exciting time! 🙂 take care!
Meggan
http://www.culinaryhill.com
Nicole says
Hi V! I'm so sorry you are having anxiety over breastfeeding. I want to share my story with you, in the hope that it will help you out, even if it's just a little bit (and I'm going to try to keep this brief!)
I had the exact same experience as you before giving birth- took breastfeeding classes, read tons of books, etc- and came away from it thinking that a) formula is evil, and b) everyone can breastfeed if they try hard enough. And if you don't breastfeed you didn't try hard enough and are a horrible mother. Not once did I hear that it is actually possible to physically not be able to breastfeed.
Fast forward to my daughter's birth- we had major issues, baby lost over 1.5lbs in 4 days and became very sick/dehydrated, and I had 15 different nurses, lactation consultants, pedi's, etc telling me what the problem was… and every.single.one.of.them had a different opinion as to what exactly the problem was. Long story short, I nursed/pumped around the clock, tried every herb, supplement, tea and tincture, and we still could not exclusively breastfeed. So I nursed/pumped/supplemented for 3 months, then pumped 12x a day until she was 7 months (and still had to supplement about half her diet with formula). It was hell. I had some PPD, and wouldn't listen when my family told me that the negatives were outweighing the positives.
BUT after all that, I still believe that breastfeeding is possible for most women, and that in most cases it is so worth it! What is not worth it is killing yourself over it and not being there for you baby because you are so consumed with pumping/researching, etc.
My biggest piece of advice is to find an IBCLC that can be with you right after birth, and visit your house as often as needed in the coming weeks. One of my biggest problems was having so many people trying to give me advice, and no one agreeing on what the problem was. An IBCLC knows what she is talking about, and can help you develop a game plan that will hopefully lead to success!
Good luck! And remember, you are already an awesome mama, your degree of breastfeeding success DOES NOT determine your ability to mother.
Steph says
Good luck through the home stretch, you're almost there 🙂 I had low milk supply and had to spend a couple weeks pumping after every feed, as well as taking herbal supplements (fenugreek & blessed thistle) to get my supply up…so even if it's a struggle at first, it is possible to make it through – I'm at almost 11 months breastfeeding now!
And if not…you tried your best, don't let people make you feel bad if it doesn't happen, formula is not the devil 😉 I worked with a lactation consultant, and while I was successful with her, she unfortunately made me feel like I was less of a mom if I introduced formula.
Wishing you a fast and healthy delivery!
cupofchic.com says
Best of luck to you on breastfeeding! I was determined to breastfeed too, but my son did not latch well and it was sooo stressful. I finally caved in at 3 weeks and once I stopped breastfeeding, I was able to actually enjoy being a mother. My now 2.5 year old is as happy and healthy as can be and I have no regrets. Look forward to following your birth and congrats!
Mrs. Poustie says
It makes me sad that there are classes/instructors out there that approach breastfeeding this way. Becoming a mother is an incredibly exciting but profoundly scary and intimidating experience, and the absolute last thing that any pregnant woman needs to hear is that not being able to breastfeed is somehow going to harm your child, when that simply is not true. If you're able to breastfeed, great, but nothing at all is going to happen to your baby girl if you can't. I have a good friend who had to supplement with formula because her milk production just couldn't keep up with her daughter's appetite, and her daughter is a completely healthy, beautiful, bright little 6 year old girl. I was a terrible eater when I was an infant and had colic, so eventually my mother gave up trying to breastfeed me and I'm perfectly healthy. You do the best you can, and do not allow anyone to make you feel that whatever choice you make/whatever your body can and cannot do, is insufficient. You will be a wonderful mother because you will love your daughter and do the best that you can for her, and that is the most important thing (and certainly more important than whether you can breastfeed or not)!
Mrs. Poustie says
It makes me sad that there are classes/instructors out there that approach breastfeeding this way. Becoming a mother is an incredibly exciting but profoundly scary and intimidating experience, and the absolute last thing that any pregnant woman needs to hear is that not being able to breastfeed is somehow going to harm your child, when that simply is not true. If you're able to breastfeed, great, but nothing at all is going to happen to your baby girl if you can't. I have a good friend who had to supplement with formula because her milk production just couldn't keep up with her daughter's appetite, and her daughter is a completely healthy, beautiful, bright little 6 year old girl. I was a terrible eater when I was an infant and had colic, so eventually my mother gave up trying to breastfeed me and I'm perfectly healthy. You do the best you can, and do not allow anyone to make you feel that whatever choice you make/whatever your body can and cannot do, is insufficient. You will be a wonderful mother because you will love your daughter and do the best that you can for her, and that is the most important thing (and certainly more important than whether you can breastfeed or not)!
Sloane Kratzman says
Congrats! All the best to you and your husband!
Xo
Sloane // Sailing the Sea of Style
http://www.sailingtheseaofstyle.blogspot.com
Alyssa says
It's incredible that people are so judgemental with such a personal decision for your family. I don't have any kids and am not pregnant, but I have watched friends go through an emotional roller coaster because they felt like it was their DUTY to breastfeed- and for whatever reason, they were having a tough time with it. Whatever happens, it is your family, and you shouldn't feel like you have to do anything because someone at a hospital class told you to. Babies survived on their moms' instincts alone for years. Off my soapbox now 🙂
Alyssa
Kari Murphy says
Breastfeeding is not easy by any means, but just try to take it week by week if you can!! I told myself I would try to make it 4 months…and I've made it 7!!!! There's just a bit of a hump to get over. And, if for some reason you can't, don't worry! My husband is a smart, healthy man who was never breastfed a day in his life! Don't put so much pressure on yourself and pleaseeee don't google, it makes you worry and imagine rare things that could happen, but probably won't! Just get ready to enjoy that baby!!!!
Allison Tee says
Hi Veronika! As a still-breastfeeding mother of a 9 month old, the best thing you can do at this point is not worry! I know it's hard (I was there, too), but it really and truly is not worth worrying about…either way, your baby will get fed! Breastfeeding or formula feeding at the end of the day doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. For what it's worth, I was very small before pregnancy and saw ZERO changes while pregnant, so I had some of the same concerns that you have. In the end, my concerns were totally unfounded as I've had issues with oversupply until just recently. My biggest pieces of advice are (1) ask for help in the hospital–the lactation consultants and nurses are there to help you! I asked for help 2x a day during my hospital stay to make sure we had the latch right, etc (2) I think it's really worth the $$ to rent a hospital grade pump especially at first. I have a medela pump in style, but also rented a symphony for the first few months…it is just a much higher quality pump. Good luck to you! You will do great!
Nelly, her Nerd and Miss J says
You're doing great at 36 weeks! I felt the same way when I went to the breastfeeding class before having my little one (almost 5 years ago). There is so much research and opinions with regard to having and raising a child that sometimes it gets way too much. The bottom line is you and your Hubby will do what's best for you and your baby . . .and that's the only thing that matters. 🙂
About Us says
Like others, I am flat as a rock (double a is stretching it!) and though I haven't had breast augmentation (yet), I can say that at least in my case my breasts produced ample milk to nurse my 3 babies for a year each. I did swell towards end of pregnancy and of course when my milk came in but I was as flat as ever even during the year of nursing. Always joking that I made milk on demand since it was no where to be found. Its good to be open minded about formula but my hope is that you have the same fortune that I did! Good luck to you!
JIN @ Love,Loss + Lacquer says
I love this post and your thoughts on the breast feeding class…I too felt like my class was a little judgmental. I wanted to breast feed so badly, but once my baby got here it was a totally different story and I couldn't. It messed with my self esteem for a while, but after realizing the important things (like the fact that my baby was thriving on formula), I had to let the guilt go. Whatever happens, you will know what do best for your family. I wish you the best of luck 🙂
Kristen says
my bf class was worthless, it didn't teach me anything i didn't already know. when i've asked around, it seams everyone has had negative experiences as well with their classes with is such a bummer when mothers to be are so looking forward to learning all that they can to provide their child with the best start they can.
motherhood overall is a guiltridden job, all you can do is what's best for your family. lots of women have to supplement with formula, you wouldn't be alone. all you can do is try, see what happens, and then do what will be the best option for you/baby/hubs.
so happy she's turned! i have an appt on wednesday so i'm crossing my fingers, even though i think there's no chance with how big she feels now that she even has room.
Salima says
Like you, I had high hopes and expectations of being able to breastfeed and so did my boyfriend who was very adamant about it because of the health effects being so much better than formula feedings. It turned out that since I have flat nipples, our baby could not latch on so it was a bust for me. I was heart broken and felt like a true failure for not being able to naturally feed my child. It was a huge factor in post partum deperession development for me. So we had no other choice but to use formula. And you know what…my baby is just as healthy as the next. In fact, life with a baby is easier without breastfeeding because you can still go back to work and not be tired to a breast pump every 2-3 hours. You can feed your baby at home while doing housework. You can even have a cocktail or glass of wine without worrying about dumping your breastmilk which took 20-30 minutes to pump out. So please try not to be too discouraged if breastfeesing does not work out for you. Many of us mama's have been through the same issue.
Caroline says
It's been such a treat getting to see you evolve from a gorgeous woman into an almost mama! I hope everything happens to turn out well for you, and if not, I know that your baby girl will grow up to be just as amazing 🙂 Good luck with these last three weeks – cannot wait to see your precious little girl's pictures gracing this site shortly!
Dana Campbell says
Hi, Veronika! I've never commented here before, but I've been reading your blog for about a year now and love it. I just want to say thank you so much for addressing the issue of breastfeeding vs. formula feeding. I was wholeheartedly committed to trying to breastfeed my daughter and also went to a class before she was born. I definitely felt like the instructor was putting out the message that any mother who does not breastfeed is not a good mother and is not doing what's best for her baby. It left me feeling a little sad. After having my daughter, I did have some trouble breastfeeding at first, but then we got a good rhythm going….until post-partum depression set in. I had to go on some medication that I had been on prior to getting pregnant, and since I didn't want to subject the baby to that drug, I decided to formula feed. It was the best decision I could have made because I was able to take care of myself and in turn be the best mother I could be for our daughter.
I wish everyone would stop judging each other over nursing vs. formula. A happy and healthy mother = a happy and healthy baby. I'm happy to report at almost two years old my daughter is happy, healthy and perfect 🙂 I wish you the best!
Luba Lovely says
Happy Anniversary V! And those flowers are gorgeous! Props to your hubs 🙂
I just want to give you a big hug. I don't like the sound of that class! I mean breastfeeding is definitely amazing but I don't like how they came about it.
This is such a touchy subject for so many women. I personally think everyone needs to do what's best for "their" family. Right after I gave birth, they handed Masha to me, and she latched on and feed for 40 minutes. My midwife helped me, and I was just in heaven. It felt so natural and beautiful. The reason I wanted to breastfeed is because of the natural benefits ( and it was free!!). Knowing myself, if I didn't breastfeed, I would be buying organic formula which is more expensive than its counterparts. Like I mentioned, I had a tremendous amount of support. If I didn't, I probably would have given up in the first couple weeks. Surround yourself with people that are understanding and supportive. It is a very emotional time right after birth and having that is number 1 in my book. Oh and the breast pump is God sent lol! Love it!! Glad you have one too!
Luba
Luba Lovely says
Happy Anniversary V! And those flowers are gorgeous! Props to your hubs 🙂
I just want to give you a big hug. I don't like the sound of that class! I mean breastfeeding is definitely amazing but I don't like how they came about it.
This is such a touchy subject for so many women. I personally think everyone needs to do what's best for "their" family. Right after I gave birth, they handed Masha to me, and she latched on and feed for 40 minutes. My midwife helped me, and I was just in heaven. It felt so natural and beautiful. The reason I wanted to breastfeed is because of the natural benefits ( and it was free!!). Knowing myself, if I didn't breastfeed, I would be buying organic formula which is more expensive than its counterparts. Like I mentioned, I had a tremendous amount of support. If I didn't, I probably would have given up in the first couple weeks. Surround yourself with people that are understanding and supportive. It is a very emotional time right after birth and having that is number 1 in my book. Oh and the breast pump is God sent lol! Love it!! Glad you have one too!
Luba
Joice says
You looked stunning on your wedding. Happy anniversary!!!!
I'm really curious to see the entire nursery…when are you gonna show us?? Hahaha
Katie {Miss Dixie} says
ohh breastfeeding- I had quite the time with it and I just stopped pumping after 9 weeks. I was devastated it didn't work out like I planned, but I keep reminding myself that each baby and Mom has their own experience and at the end of the day you have to do whats best for both of you. Weeks wouldn't latch because his suck reflex hadn't developed, and lost so much weight we had to use bottles and pump. After he finally started coming around I was so scared he would lose weight with breastfeeding, I decided it was best to keep him on pumped bottles so I knew exactly how much he was getting. Amazingly enough, he has been happier with formula! His little stomach tolerates it better with less gas and spit up. Don't worry just yet and remember you are a great Mom no matter what!! 🙂
CaveGurl says
Hope you are able to read this comment… I really enjoyed breastfeeding our little guy, to give you an idea I finally weaned him at 21 months old. (At the end it was only in the morning and late evening so he wasn't breastfeeding exclusively, it was more of a comfort, Mommy time thing.)
Anyway, I'm rambling… in the beginning everything was fine, I had an ample milk supply but at about 5 weeks my milk supply started to dwindle down. I had been given a few samples of Mother's Milk Tea. I found this link on Amazon.com but I could also buy it at my local higher-end grocery store. When I was given the sample I was told to brew it at half strength a few days before deliver and drink it to help my milk come in. I really works well! Anytime my milk supply started to diminish I would drink some and it would come right back. We did supplement with formula a few times so just go with your instincts and do what you feel is best.
Can't wait to see the nursery soon!
Lindsey says
Just remember that formula is wonderful for your baby too!! Giving all your LOVE is all you need to think about. Not all that crazy breast feeding talk. 🙂 I wasn't able to nurse William until after he was 3 months old (and by then I was back to work). People made comments to me about how it was best to nurse because of the bonding. William took only bottles and he and I have one of the strongest bonds I've ever experienced! You'll do great!!!
G says
Goat's Rue is supposed to be helpful in building breast tissue. Another blog I read had a really great summary of the steps she took breastfeeding her second child (after battling low supply with her first): https://www.cottonbottommama.com/2013/01/breastfeeding-round-two.html
Either way, the #1 rule really is to "feed the baby". As long as you do that, you'll both be fine!
Inspired Mom says
Hi Veronika,
I just wanted to send some words of encouragement!
Like you, breastfeeding was really important to me. It was the one thing I was adamant about besides having a vaginal delivery.
Long story short, I had an emergency c-section, and my milk didn't come in until day 9 and even then it was a SMALL amount. I was so depressed and discouraged. It didn't come naturally like I believed it would. We supplemented with formula while I continued to pump and encourage her to take the breast. A friend even donated some of her breastmilk. I saw lactation consultants and some from the LLL even came to my house. They were really supportive. I took Fenugreek (natural supplement that helps encourage milk supply) and continued to pump around the clock. Not going to lie…it was HARD and I cried a lot. I knew there was a possibility of not being able to breastfeed but I wanted to give it everything I had. Thankfully with the supplement, pumping and continuing to encourage nursing my milk FINALLY came in. It took forever! We successfully breastfed until she was 2! I NEVER EVER thought we would go that long. My initial goal was 1 year. When I started having issues I was hoping to just get through a month or two.
I have to say, that if I were to have the same issues with a 2nd child, I wouldn't be able to keep up with that routine. I pretty much lived with my pump trying to get things going. Not everyone can do that…
I do believe breastmilk is best. If we all read the studies we all know breastmilk is ideal for baby. But I am grateful that there is such thing as formula for those cases where it just doesn't work.
I will pray for your situation and I hope it works out the way you want it to. If it doesn't…know you are NOT a failure (I felt this way and I am sure many others did too) all you can do is try your best. Most important is the love you have for your baby. She will be okay, breastfed or not. <3
Lindsay says
I only made it 5 weeks breastfeeding my son. Even if all the conditions are perfect, it's still tough. I had a lot of guilt over stopping initially, but I got over it when I saw him thriving on formula. The people who spout all of the "formula is evil" stuff are ridiculous and good for you for seeing through that. I will never judge another mom for how she feeds her baby when there are babies out there who aren't being fed at all.
Jennie B says
Just discovered your blog and LOVE it! BTW, where do you go to get your hair color done? (I'm also a fellow Houstonian).