I started to write this post from my hospital bed as I was recovering from a D&C surgery. This post is about trusting your instincts.
Let me start from the beginning (and this post is very TMI, so if that’s not your thing, I recommend skipping past this one). Postpartum, I had three tears and very heavy bleeding, which is to be expected for the first week or two. By 1.5 weeks postpartum the bleeding had tapered off and for two blissful weeks I wore a thin liner and that’s it (it was the most amazing downgrade ever from diaper-sized hospital pads).
Then, just as I was beginning to think I had the most OMGawesome recovery ever, I started to bleed a little bit again. No biggie, I just went back to normal pads and dealt with it. I wasn’t in pain anymore and a little bleeding wasn’t too much to handle.
During my mom’s visit at four weeks postpartum, my bleeding became a little heavier, but nothing too intense. I did pass a small clot when she was here as well, but again, I didn’t think too much of it.
The night my mom left to return to Toronto, I woke up in the middle of the night and suddenly I felt gushes coming out of me. I was so shocked that I got up and ran to the bathroom, waking my husband with my “oh shit!” reaction (didn’t wake the baby though, thank God). Blood was streaming down my legs and got all over our sheets and carpet.
On Monday, at exactly five weeks postpartum, I called my OB’s office and spoke to the nurse, who assured me it was “normal” to bleed gushes and clots at five weeks postpartum. She said it likely happens when I breastfeed or pump because the contractions were pushing it all out. Though the gushes were awfully uncomfortable and, not gonna lie, horrific, I convinced myself that it was okay and that it would soon pass.
Tuesday night I once again started to have gushes of blood as I was breastfeeding Harper in the middle of the night. I passed her to my husband and ran to the bathroom again, this time I was smart enough to sleep on towels so I didn’t do any damage.
On Wednesday, I had some minor gushing in the early evening and before bed at night. I wore an extremely heavy pad to bed “just in case” and went to sleep. I woke up at about 3:30 a.m. to pump some breast milk for Harper’s next feeding. As I was pumping, I felt a massive clot come out of me and tons of gushing blood—more than ever before. I once again ran to the bathroom, once again ruined my carpet and passed another large clot. My poor husband came into the bathroom and saw the blood running down my legs and how much was still coming out of me and he just told me I needed to call my OB’s emergency line and that this was not normal. I felt in my heart the entire time that it wasn’t and I knew he was right and that I had to make that call. I called the emergency line and the OB on call agreed that is was peculiar to be bleeding so much at five weeks postpartum and told me to go to the women’s assessment center to have an ultrasound to check my uterine lining.
We called Kevin’s parents and bless their sweet hearts, they drove down to our house in the early morning to take me to the hospital so Kevin could be at home with Harper. We got to the hospital, I was admitted, and was seen by the hospitalist who performed an u/s. She said my uterus did appear to be thicker than normal and that there was probably some placental retention. She ordered radiology to come and perform a more in-depth, higher quality ultrasound.
I began to wonder what would happen if they found something in my uterus and when I asked the question, I was met with a word I’d heard before: D&C. I immediately texted my mom who let me know that the procedure would require general anesthesia.
Once again, just like when Harper was taken to the NICU after she was born, I was just in complete and utter shock that this was happening. We were finally settled in at home and had our little routine and I was starting to feel back to normal in many ways (until the gushing began, of course) and suddenly I was at the hospital about to possibly undergo a procedure to remove something inside of me.
The radiologist looked at my updated u/s scans and sure enough, he agreed that there was something in my uterus and that it needed to be removed. The D&C was scheduled for 3:30 that afternoon and I waited (and waited) until that time came.
Fortunately, I had brought my pump to the hospital and I was able to pump breast milk for Harper three times before I went into surgery. That made me feel good since I felt absolutely awful being away from her. I wondered if she would be upset that I was gone all day, but everyone reassured me that she is too young to notice. She is mostly eating and sleeping (and pooping) these days so it made me feel better that she was napping a lot because she could just have sweet little baby dreams. My father-in-law brought my EBM to the house for Harper before I headed into surgery.
I was in good spirits before my surgery, joking around with the doctors and nurses and overall trying to keep myself feeling okay about everything that was happening. I knew I was going to get great care and my wonderful OB would be doing my surgery which I was grateful for (I also joked how nice it was of me to not ruin a second holiday for her since our baby was born on Memorial Day and the following day after my procedure was Independence Day).
I remember waking up and seeing my mother-in-law and some of the nurses in my room. I remember feeling really cold and they used this amazing hose that blasted heat under my blanket for me. It was the best thing ever and so warm and cozy since I was shaking a bit and my lips were blue from the cold. The day after my surgery my nurse told me I looked pretty bad after surgery and was as white as a sheet.
The nurses told me everything had gone well. My OB called my husband while I was still asleep and filled him in on everything that happened. Later, when my OB visited me in my room at the hospital, I learned that they had found a small piece of what they think is placenta in my uterus and they removed it and sent it to pathology for analysis. My OB said it was kind of an unusual circumstance and we would know more once the results came in on Friday as to why it didn’t come out with the rest of my placenta, which, when delivered, looked healthy and intact.
Because of some clotting issues that are part of my family’s medical history, my OB decided to keep me overnight so I could be monitored and so that my CBC levels could be taken every several hours.
I also continued to pump during my stay at the hospital, every three hours. I was worried about my supply tanking due to the general anesthesia but I called lactation support at and they told me I was doing everything right. The saddest thing was having to “pump and dump” after my surgery, for 24 hours. I ended up pouring over 500ml of breast milk down the drain. The nurse actually did it because she saw that I had the bottles all set out by the sink as I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I was also able to FaceTime with Kevin and Harper at the hospital which was wonderful and helped me with the sadness of being away from her.
I’m still trying to cope with what happened and with the horrific images I still have in my head of seeing myself bleed that heavily. After my surgery, I kept thinking I would eventually just start gushing blood again and I was afraid to get out of bed and scared every time I had to pee or pump that it would just start all over again. In my head, I knew that they had fixed everything during the surgery, but my non-rational side was still having “flashbacks” about all of the blood loss I experienced.
Candice picked me up from the hospital when I was finally discharged the next afternoon and when I got home on the fourth of July, I snuggled my sweet little girl and was just so thankful that I was home and that everything was okay again. I missed her so much when I was in the hospital but her daddy took amazing care of her, of course.
During my stay at the hospital I received so many incredible and supportive comments from so many of you who follow me on Instagram and I appreciate each and every person who took the time to send thoughts and prayers. I’m so lucky that everything turned out the way that it did and that I get to be home with my family now.
I guess the point of this post is to trust your instincts and if something feels wrong or abnormal—call…and call again. It’s better to get checked out than to let things get more serious.
I hope everyone had a great fourth of July and thank you again for the well-wishes and support, it really brightened my spirits during such a difficult time.
Oh my! I'm glad you are okay now. As always, thank you so much for sharing your story with all of us.
Oh dear what a scary experience. I hope that all is well. Take care!
So glad you're ok Veronika. Wow!! that must have been so scary, I can't even imagine. I hope you are back to normal soon. Harper has a tough mom… lol 🙂
Hi Veronika! Came over from Michele1218 on youtube. And since I am not a squeamish person, this was the first blog post I read. First off, I just wanted to say how brave you are. I am in complete awe. I can't even imagine the strength it took to have this much bleeding and to not run immediately to the ER. (Also maybe a bit TMI) but I got my period when I was 11, years before any of my friends did. To this day I still remember how scared I was seeing blood even though my mom had thankfully warned me ahead of time that it would be normal.
Second, I also wanted to say that I am a big fan of your writing style. I was completely hooked the entire blog post, sitting on the edge of my seat. I am already looking forward to reading more of your older posts.
And finally, just wanted to say that I hope everything is OK now. And will keep you and your family in my thoughts today.
That's so scary! I'm so glad you trusted your instincts and that everything is okay.
When I was pregnant during one of my ultrasounds they discovered that I had an extra lobe on my placenta that was barely attached to the larger part so perhaps that is what happened to you as well? They were glad to have discovered it on the ultrasound so they could be aware when I gave birth, but I ended up with a c-section anyway so it was all taken care of that way. Either way, I'm so glad you're okay! I hope you have a quick recovery and are feeling great today.
Your daughter is super cute. 🙂
Tearing up as I read this post…so scary. Hope you get better soon.
I'm so glad you're ok, V! Thank God!
I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you, it must have been such a scary experience but I am glad to see that you are feeling better.
Rest well and I hope you will have a great and quick recovery.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad you are doing much better. I appreciate your 'bluntness' because it can happen to any of us (especially if we are expecting) so it's good to know all this info. Hope you get to rest & spend more time with your dear Harper.
Glad you're doing well and trusted your instincts. I had a D&E performed for, unfortunately, a missed miscarriage since the fetus never passed on its own. However, they were able to do in office without any general anesthesia and I was home within an home. I've heard many people have it performed differently which seems so strange to me. Either way, of course it was extremely traumatic, but I guess for different reasons. I'm glad you are resting and home with Harper and that you were able to maintain your supply while at the hospital, even if you had to dump!
What a scary experience. Praying that the results come back all clear today and you can put this whole ordeal behind you and get back to enjoying your sweet baby girl! Kudos to your Hubby for insisting you call the emergency line…so often we ladies want to do it all and be there for everyone else while putting ourselves last. Praying you have a relaxing weekend with your family.
oh my gosh how scary! Thats so great you trusted your instincts even after they kept reassuring you it was normal…eeeek! Glad you are better now though and am glad you shared this! xo
Good to hear you and Harper are both doing well now. unexpected events can certainly seem very scary at first, even if it isn't not the end of the world. I had to have a last minute c section with my daughter because she wad breech (totally unsuspecting at the last second!), and even though I had one of the best doctors in the state, it was a daunting experience. Hope you are fully recovered from surgery, and enjoying little Harper 🙂
So scary! I'm glad that everything went well. Take care and rest up!
Lura
x
Gosh, that is just so scary Veronika. I could not imagine going through that, you are incredibly strong, girl. I am just so glad you are doing better and that you got medical help in time before anything got worse. I'm glad you shared your story because I was wondering what had happened. Still sending prayers your way because I'm sure you are still recovering.
So glad you are home with sweet Harper, your bless your husband for taking such good care of her!
I am so glad that you are okay, as someone who wants to have children one day it is refreshing to read something so honest about all your experiences. I hope that you recover quickly xx
Happy to hear you are doing better Hun! As Oprah says "always listen to your gut"!
Omg that sounds like such a terrifying experience! I'm so glad you're ok and that everything went well!!
I'm so glad you're okay but you're strong! I wish you the best recovery
XO Alex
https://www.bronzedsundaze.com
That is so so scary! Glad you're ok and you followed your instinct!
Veronika – I am so glad that you are OK and that everything worked out. Yo are not kidding when you say trust your instincts. One of my dear friends had a baby nine months ago, ended up having a C-Section. The entire week afterwards she was throwing up, not able to keep any food down. The doctor kept saying it was normal after the anesthesia. After a full week, she was so sick they went to the ER and she has a whole in her stomach. She had to go into emergency surgery and was in the hospital for three weeks, away form her baby. Had they checked her before she left the hospital when she was already terribly sick they could have prevented such a long recovery. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!!
So glad to hear you are doing better!
xo
Samantha
Bless your sweet heart! I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that! I have a bleeding disorder and that hits really close to home. I hope you are recovering and resting and enjoying your sweet baby girl. Hugs from Kansas!
Hey V, glad you're okay!! Thinking of you!
Hey V, so glad you're okay. Thinking of you!!
Omg! That's crazy! I'm so happy that you're okay!
~Kayla
Tailored Seams
I'm glad you are doing ok!!!
I'm so glad you're okay. I bet it is extra special being back home with your baby now. Medical professionals can be wrong so it's good that you trusted your instincts x
So glad everything went well! What a traumatic time for you guys. It is good to trust your gut feeling, especially with your own body.
Kristen
https://codeforconfession.wordpress.com
Really happy to hear the situation got resolved. Bleeding freaks me out. Period no period or whatever lol Thank you for writing this!
What a scary experience–my pregnancy went well but 5 years before the pregnancy, I had surgery on my uterus. I seemed okay after and got my period except the period was really heavy and wouldn't stop, I couldn't even take a shower, it was so heavy. Well I called my doctor and come to find that a blood vessel had ruptured, I hate to think what would of happened if I didn't call the doctor. You are absolutely right, trust your instincts, they are almost always right. Your story reminded me of this. I hope you are doing well and spending lots of time with your baby !
Oh my goodness, so glad you are okay! That must have been scary… I bled for 12 weeks after I gave birth and was checked for placental retention too, but luckily I was okay. I can't imagine gushing blood like like… you must have been freaking out.
Also, awesome job on pumping throughout your ordeal! I know it's so hard to wake up and pump when you have so much to process… you are an awesome mama for keeping up with it. Have a wonderful weekend with your hubby and sweet baby!
Harper is so beautiful and I'm so glad you are doing well enough to write about this!
Hello Veronika, I have been reading your blog for about a year now and really enjoy reading and taking your advice on things. I too went through almost the same situation with my daughter. I was two weeks postpartum when that happened except I lost so much blood I fainted and was taken by ambulance. The doctor told me that my uterus was not going back to normal ans that is why I was getting blood clots. I just want to let you know that I know how you felt and I am so glad that everything is ok now.
Hello Veronika, I have been reading your blog for about a year now and really enjoy reading and taking your advice on things. I too went through almost the same situation with my daughter. I was two weeks postpartum when that happened except I lost so much blood I fainted and was taken by ambulance. The doctor told me that my uterus was not going back to normal ans that is why I was getting blood clots. I just want to let you know that I know how you felt and I am so glad that everything is ok now.
Thanks for sharing your story, glad you are okay and hope you are getting some much needed rest at home with your family.
My sister had a similar experience to yours. The bleeding was pretty horrific and she ending up taking an ambulance to the hospital after passing out from blood loss. She had to be away from her 4 week old for 3 nights and had to have 2 blood transfusions after her D&C. But that baby is 2.5 now and they are all doing great. 🙂 I never understood how hard that must have been for her, until I had my own baby 4 months ago. Thanks for sharing your story. I'm glad you're on the up and up now! And how great is it to be married to a man that you would never doubt his abilities to care for your child when you're gone? So comforting.
I'm so happy you are ok and back home now.
Thanks for sharing your story too – I'm pregnant and as a first time mum you sometimes question your instincts, so it's reassuring to know that you should give yourself some credit that you know your body and when something isn't right!
I can't imagine how hard it must have been to be away from Harper and your hubby – and for them too! Well done on making such a huge effort to continue pumping while in hospital too – what an amazing achievement!
So sorry you had to go through this. I can completely sympathize with how hard it must have been to leave Harper for that long! There are just so many unknowns with birth and babies…and you've certainly had your fair share of the unexpected. You are handling everything amazingly though! So glad you're home and doing well.
One of my girlfriends had residual placental tissue after giving birth to her daughter. A few days after delivering and mom & baby were home, my friend wasn't feeling well. That quickly escalated to excruciating pains in her abdomen, and so her husband brought her to the ER. The doctors insisted that it was normal uterine cramping and basically told her that she was being a baby about it, to just go home and take some pain relievers. They left, still knowing that it had to be something more than just "normal" cramping. The following day my friend was on the toilet and felt something gush out of her, and it ended up being an enormous clot followed by just gushes and gushes of blood that wouldn't seem to let up. She went back to the ER and they insisted on an ultrasound – sure enough, she still had large pieces of placental tissue remaining that had already started to cause infection. They did an emergency D&C and she was ok after recovery, but it's just another example of trusting your instincts – it's your body, and only you can know when something isn't right. It's unfortunate that in my friend's case, she was treated initially by a doctor who just brushed off her concerns and symptoms as "normal" rather than taking the time to listen and actually look into it.
Glad that everything is OK and that you are home to your sweet little Harper.
That is awful, and I'm glad you are okay! I've heard that retaining placenta tissue is a life-threatening situation, so I'm glad you pulled through it. All the best.
So glad you're okay, Veronika. What an experience!!! 🙁 thanks as always for sharing. I'm sure this will help someone today or down the road and of course always love hearing about what going on in your life.
So sorry you had to go through this, but happy to hear you trusted your "something's not right" instincts, got treated, and are back home! I hope you have a speedy recovery and enjoy all of your snuggles from Harper :).
I am glad everything went okay.
So happy that you are doing well after such a scary ordeal. I agree – it's absolutely essential to really listen to your gut. I hope you are recovering well and that you are enjoying time with Harper again!
OH my gosh, how scary. I am so happy you are ok. Definitely listening to your gut is good advice. I hope you are feeling better soon.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this! You are such a strong woman and thanks for sharing your experience. I'm sure many people will find this helpful especially if they are going through something similar. Glad you are doing great! Hope you have a speedy recovery!!
What a scary experience! Unfortunately, I know how you feel (under a different circumstance) about seeing so much blood- it is so frightening! I'm so glad you trusted your instincts. xoxo.