I hope you had a great week so far! I had a four day work week this week and it was so wonderful to have several days off in a row for the July 4th holiday. It definitely left me feeling re-energized, but I’m going to start this post on a heavier note before I get into the fun stuff.
THOUGHTS & FEELINGS
We are still at home…all the time. I know many families have gone back to visiting with friends, sports activities, travel and more, but those are risks our family has decided not to take. At the same time, I often wonder if the caution we’ve taken will have been “all for nothing” if schools reopen for in-person learning, which will inevitably cause infection rates to skyrocket, especially since they’re already so high here in Houston.
It’s a very troubling to think that after staying home since March and being much more conservative than many (not perfect, but strict), we will likely all become sick anyway. In one sense, I wonder if we should have been a little less conservative and in another I’m resentful that more weren’t as conservative so it wouldn’t have gotten so bad in the first place.
I have a lot of mixed feelings because I recognize on a very deep level that we all have to make choices that feel right for our families. I share my thoughts not to cast judgment, but because I want to be honest about how I’m feeling and not try to hide that I feel extremely conflicted and saddened by all of this.
Yes, there are so many silver linings to this time and we are SO incredibly privileged, but I can’t help but also feel a level of sadness. We cancelled our summer vacation, haven’t seen our friends in months and rarely leave our home – and yet, at this time next month, we will likely be infected with COVID-19 because we cannot control the spread in schools since so many families take different levels of precaution. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel resentful that we did our part and will probably end up sick anyway.
I know many feel COVID-19 is not a serious illness – but there are a lot of unknowns – will you be one of the lucky ones with minor symptoms or none at all – or will you end up in the ICU or worse? There is simply no way to know. We also don’t know much about longterm health outcomes and the residual repercussions of becoming infected. The unknowns are frightening and I feel justified in feeling scared.
On the other hand, there is some evidence that children aren’t as affected, are often asymptomatic, etc. There is also evidence that kids need to be in school for their emotional health and learning and that is important to consider too. I think because I live in an area where cases are climbing daily, my perspective is shaped by that. I can see how someone living in an area without a lot of cases has a totally different perspective and thought process.
I know many of you feel the same way based on the direct messages you’ve been sending me – know that you’re not alone in those feelings. When you sacrifice so much and see others enjoying travel and socializing when you’ve made different choices, it can make you question if you’re doing the right thing. I have questioned myself 1000 times – wondering if I “ruined” our summer by cancelling our trip and not taking the kids to any public places (meanwhile, our kids are so happy to be home, and tell us often).
Anyway, sorry for the ramble. Writing helps me clear my head. If your family makes different choices, please know I’m just venting my frustrations at the helplessness I feel that nothing our family did over the last few months mattered because we will likely get sick if schools reopen, with how high the cases are here in Houston.
I think one of the reasons I’ve been so focused on house-related projects over the last few months is because it’s one of the only things that distracts me from the anxiety I feel over all of this. I feel like I’m ordering things constantly (art, draperies, furniture, home accents, rugs, lamps) to finish our home because I need the distraction all of these projects provide. I even have vintage dressers coming from Florida that I’m refinishing myself…that’s not a project I’d usually take on in “normal times,” but I truly need this right now.
These projects have been my coping mechanism – channeling my energy into creating, building and making has meant I don’t worry about all of the unknowns all the time. It’s the same reason I decided to binge-watch Grey’s Anatomy, starting with season 8. I need the distraction so I don’t think about what’s going on in the world right now all the time. And this doesn’t even touch on all of the social justice issues also dominating my thoughts at this time. I’ll save those reflections for another post (I did just finish reading So You Want to Talk About Race last week).
THE DOLLHOUSE CHRONICLES
Many of you have been following our dollhouse journey. This project is not one for someone who lacks patience (LOL, me) but somehow, some way I built that damn dollhouse and I’m proud. I had a dollhouse similar to this one as a child and I remember building it (with my father). I was about 12, so definitely a little bit on the older side, but I was a late bloomer and loved it! This build was rage-inducing at times, but I’m so glad we’re at the finish line. The fun part (decorating the inside!) is just around the corner. I shingled the roof last weekend and our next step will be to paint the exterior. You can follow our dollhouse adventures, here.
LET THERE BE LIGHT
I finally purchased the Kelly Wearstler lamp during Studio McGee’s 20% off lighting sale. I recently blogged about home splurges that are worth it and I’ve never really splurged on a lamp before so it was time!
I adore this French blue cutting board I got on sale last week at Caitlin Wilson. There is also a matching cookbook stand. This entryway or power room rugis on my wishlist!
I adore this two-piece scalloped swimsuit – it fits great (wearing a medium – fits like a small). This sun hat is fantastic because you can wear it with a pony tail or topknot! It also has an adorable bowat the back with a velcro closure so it’s adjustable. Shop the flamingo here. I also got this rash guard swimsuit this week and will report back soon. PS- my favorite leggingsare back in stock in a ton of colors – I wear a small and they’re truly amazing.
SO MANY THOUGHTS
I pre-ordered Elizabeth Holme’s book So Many Thoughts on Royal Style and also got part two of The Royal We(one of my fave books ever) called The Heir Affair on audible. I’m going to start listening to it soon – without a commute, it will take me longer but I can’t wait for this second book!
THOU SHALT OWN MANY VACUUMS
My love of vacuums has reached new heights with the purchase of a fourth vacuum. When Young House Loveraved about this vacuumrecently, I was all #addtocart. Let me tell you a gross story to give some context first. I find hair everywhere but especially in our bathroom. I’ve always said to myself “I wish had a tiny vacuum for small daily things like dust bunnies on stairs and hair everywhere.” Ask and you shall receive. This vacuum is freaking awesome and so small/slim. It’s perfect for little messes, hair, dust bunnies, etc. I cannot stand having hair on my tile and this does the job quickly and efficiently without having to get the whole large vacuum out. It’s also great for cars, hard to get to areas, baseboards, etc. Basically, yes, you do need a tiny slim vacuum. Trust.
Have a great weekend!